A Story Every Hour: Part 3: Fifth Period Animal House

“Hey, Mrs BBBBB! You look great today!” yelled Dennis as I walked into my 5^th period class. He smiled at me chewing slowly. I thought it was gum. Later, he told me it was chewing tobacco. But because of the occasional compliment, he was one of my favorite students even though he did very little work - just enough to get by.

This group was talkative one – is that a trait of juniors or what? – and the first few minutes of class had to be devoted to chatting about the day’s events before instruction began.

One, Luke, who reminded me of John Candy, would wear shirts like: “Mama Says: what happens in the barn, stays in the barn…” and “fat people are harder to kidnap” among other wonderful redneck sayings. He never did anything in class until the last week of the reporting period when his parents finally figured out he wasn’t performing and called the school. I always asked him where his book was and his classic answer every day would be “...on the toilet, miss, at home. I read it when I go, ya know?”

Another student, Jake, reminded me of Tom Hanks and looked just like him – even his mannerisms and personality. You could picture him walking down the road in a pair of overalls, a straw hat on his head, and a fishing pole over his shoulder looking like Forrest Gump.

Then there was the John Belushi of the group – D’onna a big girl who was so huge she always wanted to sit in the teacher’s chair because she couldn’t fit in her own desk. I remember I called her Donna the first day and she quickly corrected me. “It’s D’onna,” she retorted calmly, “with an apostrophe.” I quickly apologized for the oversight. However, when she spoke everyone listened and laughed. She was the class cow for sure. She ran the elmo, the TV and the DVD player and basically did anything she felt like doing. She was, after all, much bigger than me…but usually very mild-mannered and easy-going. Only once did she scream, “Party, Party!” And that was just before the bell rang and the room cleared out.

Another one liked doing a prank every day. One time, he ate too much red pepper sauce at lunch (he claimed) and his face looked red as a beet and his eyes were watering. Another day, he ran out of the room for no apparent reason.

“Where is Michael going?” I asked.

“Nowhere, miss, he just needs some space.”

I asked him where he went when he came right back in.

“I’m just messin’ with ya.” He replied with a laugh.

Another priceless time he asked me what did I do during spring break. When I didn’t respond, he said a little louder:

“Did you get laid?”

Somebody from the office handed me a note right at that moment so I was spared giving an answer and I hope he didn’t see the blush in my cheeks.

The last day he yelled at the top of his voice in a primal scream.

We just figured that was his farewell yell. I wanted to scream too – for happiness that it was almost over...

“…and let thy saints shout for joy. (Ps 132:9)”